Allowing Change

The last 12 months of my life have been filled with so much turbulence and change. I’m pretty sure I spent more time crying than laughing. What is control when life is just a continuum of different experiences? This year I am learning how to find happiness in going with the flow, in instead of accepting disappointment in my lack of flow control. Last week I had plans to make a nice number of things with the blog and with my social media pages; none of that happened. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t even get my phone to record a video longer than 5 seconds!! Reluctantly, I took that as a sign from the Universe to have a rest, and an impromptu trip to visit my 80 year old aunt ensued. It was wonderful—new scenery and surroundings, the fresh air of a different city, no internet—it was great! I even brought back a banging recipe for a Dump Soup and some Skillet Squash.

Spending time with my aunt and cousins really did give me a much needed break and helped me gain a new perspective and a fresher outlook on life. I was able to truly reflect on all the ups and downs of last year and what those experiences taught me. And that, of course, helped me gain a clearer trajectory of where I can expect to go this year. My dear friend also happened to receive an invite to speak in the same city that I was visiting, and I was able to go and support her. She spoke on newfound Dreams and Aspirations in parallel to our old ways of thinking and the bad habits that go with them. Perfectly timed for the start of this New Year. It is so important to align ourselves with the forward moving processes taking place in our lives. In order to manifest our dreams we must learn how to discern our thoughts and make them into attainable goals. This helps align our actions with our words before we speak them, which in turn helps us bypass aversion and misinterpretation when it is time to share, because discernment helps us know how much to share and who to share it with and when the appropriate time to share it. We cannot insist on making changes for the better and then resist the adjustments that come with said changes. We must learn to be patient with ourselves while we allow the change to take hold, because as we all know, change requires time, and time requires patience.

What a conundrum that is—the relationship between time and patience. Well, I definitely had lots of time last week, and that gave me the space to evaluate my current position in this particular transition. I love to exercise my brain. I am the type of person who will analyze a situation until I have worked through all possible kinks and outcomes. I just like to be prepared, ya know? But my boyfriend says I think too much. He’s probably right—sometimes my hard thinking leads me to a brick wall of frustration instead of the open skies of peace. That actually is why I am so gung-ho on meditation, which gives me relief from my thoughts, because as a thinker, I often get stuck on one track and that most times leads to me waking up with a headache. Because, subconsciously, I continue my attempts to work out the thought, even in my sleep. A flaw, I know, but we all have them and I guess that what keeps us on the journey of becoming better people.

So I’ve shared all of this with you because Sonja’s message about ridding ourselves of bad habits and aligning ourselves for progress could not have come at a more convenient time. Right before my trip came to a close, an unresolved issue came up, and instead of coming home and engrossing myself in my new aspirations I came home and worried myself until I broke out in hives!

And for what? Because things didn’t work out the way I thought they would have? Because something happened that I hadn’t considered?

If we want the doors to open up for better happenings in our life, we have to unchain ourselves from the old locks that hold us back. We must release the bad habits of comfort so that we can grasp the promise of reaching our full potential.  One bad habit of creature comfort that I would like to let go of is Worry. I had a marvelous get away, visiting my aunt; she has 80+ years of wisdom to share. One of the golden nuggets she gave me was Learn how to let go. Which is why, this year, I am working hard on finding happiness in going with the flow. And also why, this week, I have been soaking in oatmeal baths, to relieve these hives.  My boyfriend very gently (and very often) reminds me that thinking a thing through is not the same as meditating to release your fears. So along with the oatmeal baths, I have been practicing a new meditation, one that focuses on letting go of what I cannot control and opening my senses to the opportunities of the present moment.

PHOTO CREDIT: BICH TRAN

PHOTO CREDIT: MADISON INOUYE